me: wtf why is everyone going to bed, it's only-
    me: oh

trewbgn:

hi:

food will last approximately 6.4 seconds in front of me the second it’s put down, i ain’t got no time to instagram any of that

not trying to make this about me but i look really cute here

image

(via troyesivan)

    Me in 5th grade: I will never smoke or drink or do any drugs ever
    Me now: I probably wouldn't do meth

shouldnt:

Need an ark like asap? dont worry, I Noah guy

(via square-in-a-world-of-circles)

    me: *posts a selfie*
    me: *loses 2 followers*
    me: AM I REALLY THAT UGLY!?

willyoulovemeh:

I just want to be slightly drunk, half naked, and completely on top of someone.

(via orgasm)